parent and child holding hands

5+ Tips For Adjusting To Parenthood After Adoption

November is National Adoption Month, celebrating and recognizing adoptive families everywhere. As those families well know, the adoption process — and life afterward — can be emotional and challenging. So, how do you navigate it all? Here, we’re sharing tips for parents and how they can better adjust to parenthood after adoption.

Educate others

Adoptive families are often hit with never-ending questions about their newest family member(s): How old are they? Where are they from? Is the adoption open or closed? And, if your adopted child comes from a different cultural background, you may get additional questions about their ethnicity or race — some of which may be offensive or intrusive. 

If you’re comfortable and able, consider educating those around you. Talking to them ahead of time can help prevent any questions or discussions from taking place in front of your adopted child. It can also help everyone navigate future situations in which your child may be unintentionally singled out. Of course, only share information that you want; the goal here is to minimize any post-adoption stress you may experience from others.

Set boundaries

Part of that education can also include boundary setting. For example, maybe you don’t want to share any information at all about your adoptive family — and that’s ok! Set the boundary with others that you don’t prefer that anyone ask any questions, and only treat your new family member(s) as they would treat you.

Another reason to set boundaries is to reduce the amount of stress your child may be experiencing. Meeting new people, adjusting to a new environment, doing too many activities — it can all be a lot to take in. But everyone — including you — needs space to adapt and settle into your new normal. 

Stay consistent

Consistency is great for every child, but especially children who have likely never experienced it. Creating consistency can also help adoptive children adapt to their new home life, as it develops a sense of stability and security. You can do that through:

  • Bedtime routines
  • Feeding or mealtime routines
  • Consistent rewards and discipline
  • Schooltime or daycare routines
  • …and anything else you can think of!

Remember: Routines are also as important for you and they are your adoptive children and can help make the post-adoption adjustment much smoother.

Be patient

Whether you adopt a newborn, infant, or older child, bonding may not happen immediately. If they’ve lived in previous homes, they may act out or become defiant. And that’s all normal. If you exercise patience and continue to make your child feel loved and safe, you can start to form a stronger bond and build your relationship.

Ask for help

When it comes to adoption, many parents may not be prepared for how it can impact their patience, partnerships, and other aspects of their life. Parenthood is a huge undertaking in any circumstance — an undertaking that’s made easier with help. You can seek help through:

  • Family and friends
  • Licensed counselor or therapist (for yourself, you and your partner, your adoptive child, or the entire family)
  • Adoption support communities (in-person or online)
  • Fellow families who have gone through the same process
  • Nannies and babysitters

Don’t forget: Your own self-care is crucial as you adjust to parenthood after adoption, and there’s no shame in asking for help. In addition to the above resources, Sleep by Rachelle is here to help, too. Rachelle’s proven sleep training method has helped different families from all different backgrounds achieve the rest they deserve. Schedule your free consultation today!

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Managing Parental Stress During a Pandemic

The COVID-19 pandemic has taken its toll on the country and the world in more ways than one. For parents, that stress is heightened as you work to adjust to a new ‘normal.’ Maybe that’s working from home full-time or coping with a job loss. Maybe it’s adapting to at-home schooling for your children while you juggle everything else that comes with parenthood. Whatever your unique case, it’s stressful — to say the least. That’s why I’m sharing some tips to help you navigate that stress as we continue to navigate the pandemic.

Connect (virtually) with others

We may not be able to be around those we love physically, but we can still connect virtually. Schedule time to check in on family, friends, and other loves ones. You can also connect with other parents with shared experiences through virtual support groups and communities. There, you can share your thoughts and feelings, have conversations about parenting during a pandemic, and learn what’s working (and what’s not) for other parents. Connecting to others who are going through the exact same thing helps reinforce that you are not alone in this.

Schedule downtime or alone time

If you’ve been self-isolating at home, you may already feel like you have a lot of downtime, but that’s not often the case. Make it a priority to schedule time to relax, unplug, and clear your headspace. Whether you spend that time alone or as a family, it’s a great way to ease symptoms of stress and anxiety. You can do things like:

  • Create a self-care routine
  • Go for walks, hikes, or bikes outside
  • Take a long bath
  • Do an outdoor activity
  • Practice journaling
  • Take a nap
  • And much more!

Prioritize your mental health

Stress, anxiety, and depression are amongst the symptoms several people are experiencing right now. Lack of knowledge about the disease, financial issues, health risks, social media, isolation, and disconnect from your loved ones…all of this and more are drivers to those symptoms. As a result, it makes it that much more difficult to take care of yourself, let alone your little ones. Be sure you’re taking time to prioritize your mental health, like:

  • Talking to a licensed counselor or therapist
  • Exploring treatment options with your doctor
  • Take breaks when you need them
  • Practice self-care
  • Limit your social media and news consumption

You can also tap into the CDC’s free resources for coping with mental health.

Make sure you get enough sleep

A lack of sleep for you — and for baby — can have negative effects on the entire family. Sleep is not only crucial for children’s’ development, but it can better help you manage the day-to-day of parenthood. Make sure you’re doing things like:

You can also maximize everyone’s sleep through my proven sleep method to ensure the entire family gets the rest they need. You can learn more through your own (virtual) complimentary sleep assessment.

Don’t be too hard on yourself

We can’t control everything that’s happening during this pandemic, so it’s important to focus on the things we can control. So, don’t be too hard on yourself and know that you’re doing the best you can. You are not alone in this, and I’m always here to provide any extra support for you, baby, and your whole family.

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Quick Tips for Finding Zen as a Parent

Some days, it seems like you’re so busy that one mishap can derail your entire schedule. If you wake up just 10 minutes late, you feel like you’re playing catch up for the rest of the day.

On those days, it can often feel like things are spinning out of control. You may feel like you’re powerless to get your day back on track. We feel you. During tough days like this, finding a short moment of zen can work wonders. And the best part is, you don’t need a lot of time to recharge and feel better. Read our ideas for how busy moms can find zen and hit their reset button in a snap.

Take 5 to 10 minutes to meditate

Meditation doesn’t have to be a complicated practice, nor does it have to be a long one. In fact, meditation app Headspace notes that meditating frequently is more beneficial than meditating for long periods of time. When you practice meditation, you’ll reduce feelings of stress and anxiousness. For parents, fitting meditation into your schedule can seem like a chore. Start by doing it once a day when you have a moment of calm. You’ll quickly see that it’s worth making meditation a habit.

The act itself is easy. Get into a comfortable sitting position and focus on your breaths in and out. Notice where your thoughts go, then bring them back to your breath. If you’re brand new to the practice, try this one-minute mini meditation for guidance. When you’re ready for something longer, try a 5-minute mindful breathing meditation. Once you’ve begun making meditation a habit, you can find 10-minute guided practices on YouTube or through apps like Headspace.

Enjoy nature with a walk outside

When you can, take your meditation practice outside for an extra dose of endorphins from nature. Or if you want to kick some sluggishness or relieve stress, go on a quick walk outside. A walk can loosen any tension built up in your muscles, and it’ll help you get out of your head. Are you waiting for your kids to get released from school? Park your car and stroll outside for a few minutes. After dinner and the kids’ bedtime, take a longer walk around your neighborhood if you can. It’s a nice way to put some distance between you and anything that’s causing you stress. During your walk, focus on how the sun, air, breeze, or night sky feels. Take deep, nourishing breaths. We guarantee you’ll feel ready to tackle what’s next. 

Get your heart pumping with a quick workout

Need a more intense stress-relieving activity, but don’t have time for a full workout class? Get your heart pumping with a quick high-intensity interval training (HIIT) workout. You’ll push your body hard and fast through a series of 12 bodyweight exercises in just 7 minutes. A typical workout takes you through 30 seconds of an exercise like push ups, squats, or jumping jacks, with 10 seconds of rest in between. After 12 exercises, you’re done. 

Mamas looking for short and fiery workouts they can do at home can give one of these HIIT workout videos a try. Remember to do each exercise safely and drink plenty of water, especially if you’re new to HIIT.

Escape by reading, writing, or listening to music

When you have a moment of quiet to yourself, fight the urge to check your emails or get lost in your phone. Escape into a book that you’ve been wanting to read. (You can even work your way through a book of poems, essays, or short stories if they are easier to digest in short periods.) Write down your thoughts in a journal, or reorganize your thoughts by making a to-do list in your planner. Find your center again by popping on some headphones and listening to music. Close your eyes and let yourself get lost in the music. After a few minutes of any of these activities, you’ll start to feel better.

Treat yourself

Find yourself dwelling on your to-do list? Sometimes treating yourself is one of the best things you can do to boost your mood. And treating yourself means letting yourself do something you enjoy. Get a pedicure, enjoy a face mask, have that bar of chocolate you’re craving, buy a new house plant, take a nap, or brew an extra cup of coffee or tea. Make it your own, and don’t feel guilty about it!

If you’re curious about sleep training but feel that it’s more of a luxury, think of it as a way to treat yourself and your family to a night of deep, restful sleep. A baby who is struggling with sleep can exhaust parents and other family members. With help from Sleep by Rachelle, a customized sleep training program, you’re sure to find your zen when you need it most.

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